Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I can read

Five differences between Pilates and yoga you need to know before deciding which is right for you, according to a certified teacher - Fit&Well

I don’t cotton to rapists

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Scientists stunned as heat caught on camera ‘bouncing like sound’ for first time ever - Daily Express US

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t buy bullshit

How come Taiwan is LGBT friendly, yet Japan and South Korea are not?

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Kraken Deal Andre Burakovsky To Chicago - NHL.com

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Ominous 'Chamaeleon' is hiding a stellar secret: Space photo of the week - Live Science

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

DF Weekly: Why would Microsoft "sideline" its next generation handheld? - Eurogamer

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Can women learn to squirt?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I actually pay taxes

Scale AI founder Alexandr Wang says he's waiting for Elon Musk's Neuralink before he has kids - Business Insider

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Is there scientific evidence for reincarnation? If so, how does it work and can it be proven through regression therapy?

I can count

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Debunking 5 myths about when your devices get wet - The Conversation

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How do professional musicians handle their equipment during gigs? Do they bring their own or use the venue's sound system?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

How many couples swap wives?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I see through liars

Don’t Miss This Rare Chance to See the Milky Way’s Glowing Core - SciTechDaily

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Mariners fall flat again: 'We'll keep fighting' - The Seattle Times

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have a reading level above third grade

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

Wolfspeed Stock Tumbles Amid Bankruptcy Plan. What's Next for the Chip Company. - Barron's

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I have complete contempt for fakery

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP